Residual vs ‘Objective’ Self-image

There is no doubt that the ability to form self-image has great practical value, as it is needed for even basic self-reflection, self-observation and self-evaluation. Even in a literal sense, we have the ability to create an image of our face and body. But this image, being a projection of our mind, is never entirely objective, as there is no such a thing as an objective image. In fact, if anything, ‘objective’ would refer to how most other people see us. In this sense, we lose objectivity if our perception of ourselves is too subjectively biased and at odds with how other people perceive us. However, it is good to keep in mind that sometimes ‘subjective’ is higher than objective, and sometimes subjective is but a delusion.

There is such a thing as residual self-image, a concept from The Matrix. After being unplugged, Neo still sees his face and body as before, because his self-image is the mental projection of his digital self, which is basically a long-term memory. Because we keep changing physically, our brain has a hard time to re-formulate a new self-image, so most often we have a residual self-image, seeing ourselves in delay as we knew ourselves in the past. As we grow old our brain has to get used to it, and there is always a friction between how we saw ourselves in the past, and how we actually look in the present. Residual self-image is not only about our external appearance, but also about how we see ourselves in all kinds of ways, such as our skills or shortcomings. Basically, we assume things about ourselves based on the past, even though we have already changed for better or for worse.

Residual self-image is created from the brain’s need to somehow perceive ourselves with as much objectivity as possible, so that we can have the most reliable picture of who we really are, which is needed for our functioning in the world and society. Such self-image can be purely mental or can have some emotional content. The mechanism of creating self-image is quite similar to how we create images of others. We project our opinions onto them, often judging or liking them based on their appearance, attractiveness, and personality traits. Even though our opinions of others tend to be very subjective, they are often more objective than how we view ourselves. While we know ourselves better than we know others, there is a common misalignment between our internal knowledge and the mental distance necessary to view ourselves objectively.

As we can see, residual self-image is always inaccurate on some level, and it is not meant to be entirely accurate. It is meant to give us enough objectivity to navigate our ordinary existence in the world. If such an image is entirely disconnected from reality, we begin to enter insanity.

An example of people not being sure how to create an objective opinion of themselves is whether they are good or bad. Religious people want to go to heaven, but they often have doubts about whether they’re good enough. So they have emotional conflict and many doubts in trying to objectively evaluate themselves. It is hilarious in some ways, though very painful and sad.

Orientational Self-image

As mentioned, one of the basic functions of creating self-image is to allow us to have a sense of orientation in our empirical reality, such as defining our location, appearance, skills, desires, objectives and fears. This is the whole make up of our human self-consciousness, which allows us to positively separate who we are from the external reality and others. Creation of such self-image happens on a subconscious level, and most often mechanically, without our control. It serves practical purposes, but also has further implications, such as evolution of self versus the world.

Emotional Attachment to Egoic Self-image

When we usually address the issue of self-image, we do not refer to an objective picture of who we think we are, but to an emotional attachment to self-image in our personality. And this is the main subject here. While I have written about it quite recently, I would like to offer a deeper perspective on this most disturbing matter.

Humans do not merely create self-image, they are obsessed with their self-image. They are insecure, terrified of not being good enough and desperate to see themselves in a good light. And they are so arrogant in the narcissistic quest for self-affirmation. When they fail to assert themselves, their egoic sand castle falls apart and they turn against themself in self-judgment and destruction. This tendency is so universal that even criminals, psychopaths, sociopaths, and the worst kinds of thugs seek a positive self-image and to be liked, admired or at least respected by other people in their culture or subculture.

Of course, we can see that this tendency is practical in its origin. In order to survive, we must gain approval and acceptance from others. The more others like and respect us, the more they will support us in the fulfillment of our desires. However, as the human mind evolved, self-image became a thing in itself, an autonomous entity possessing our minds, and it got out of control. It could relate to how we were educated, to our parents, religions, or to the general development of the collective mind, but what is certain is that it is a universal tendency, a human pandemic. No one has identified the cause of this sickness, and even therapies are dealing only with the symptoms. Looking into our childhood or our traumas is not to be confused with identifying the causes or roots. Therapies tend to identify only triggers, not causes. All of these are symptoms of something entirely else. The human mind is sick, and it has to be treated.

The disproportionate emotional identification with self-image is not just an excessive use of this faculty, but it is a real tyranny within the human mind. Of course, everyone is deeply suffering because of this, but this is beyond suffering. The amount of energy we devote to preserving a positive self-image while constantly slipping into a negative one is enormous, and it is an enormous waste of time. But the suffering and waste of time and energy are only describing the surface of the matter. The real problem is what people have become, the kind of parasitic monstrosity they have developed in the mind.

We could certainly speak about the general sense of inferiority, lack of confidence, sense of guilt and unworthiness as culprits, but the problem is much deeper. If we speak of unworthiness, why is it there? Because one was not accepted as a child or appreciated in society? These are merely different triggers, nothing more. Yes, ignorance of our true self can be seen as the reason for obsession with self-image. Ego does not know itself, so it is compensating for this lack by emotional clinging to self-image. But there is something so arrogant about putting self-image on a pedestal, that even when the self-image is negative, it is narcissistic. It is like worshiping a false god, where the deity is an artificial construct or entity created in the mind. It is entirely empty yet vain, cowardly yet aggressive, miserable yet undeserving of compassion.

This is challenging, because the way we are dealing with people whose self-image is threatened or diminished and causing them to be in pain is by giving them positive feedback, so they can regain a positive self-image. But are we really helping them in this manner? It is a difficult subject, because it is true that if a constructive self-image of a person collapses, either they suffer deeply or they deteriorate psychologically to the point of self-destruction. So in this sense we need to support them. But do we do it by helping them reconstruct a positive self-image, and therefore supporting the false, or by giving them unconditional love? Is feeding people’s self-image a service or a disservice? It is something that we need to feel in each situation. However, a highest expression of spiritual respect is to avoid the false as much as possible.

Self-image is a Ghost

If a person is so self-conscious, unconfident and scared that he immediately falls into personality while processing emotions in the mind, this entire process occurs in the sphere of creating an emotional self-image. This is not to say that any clear self-image was created. Actually, in most cases, people do not have any clear self-image at all, but rather all kinds of emotions revolving around a not-yet-formulated image of themselves. When we speak about self-image, you should not assume that a person is lucidly defining themselves as this or that. They are just fragments of self-image floating around and changing, fluctuating while the mind takes a defensive or an offensive position. People actually defend a ghost. They are not able to hold onto their self-image, because it has already disappeared. But then it appears without clear shape and disappears again. It has no substance, similar to people’s minds. They cannot grasp their mind, but only get lost in it.

A series of thoughts arise, “I am not good enough, or maybe I am good enough, or maybe I am bad. I did something I am not proud of, so I feel guilty. I am horrible, and other people are judging me. What do they think about me?” This mind is working so hard. That ghost wants to live, and it would rather live in horrible pain than not live at all. Do we really want to feed it? For what reason? To give us nightmares and keep waking us up at nights.

Self-image as Substitute for Self

This is what self-image is for most people – a substitute for self. They define themselves so much through self-image that they have no other self. In a way this makes sense, if we consider the evolution of the mind. Ego has no center, so it does not know what it is at all. Animals are more unconscious and they do not need so much grasping of who they are, but rather they just function and experience. But the human mind is more developed and seeks to create more of a self-reference. It can think of itself as it does, but creating an image of itself is a way to enhance its self-reflective faculty. And here image becomes the substitute for knowing oneself, or the substitute for self.

Stepping Above Emotional Self-image

As you know, even if you recognize your Me, your ego still keeps defining yourself through self-image. This is how you see yourself – from outside and in the eyes of other people. You have your true self, but you choose to live like a ghost, an empty image-projection of yourself. There are obviously many psychological reasons for this addiction, but you are hurting yourself, while thinking that you are protecting yourself. Being so self-conscious in the mind, locked in your personality, you keep experiencing yourself as all the other people who have no self. You could say, “Oh, but I am only human”. But is it really an excuse? Yes, you are human, but what really is a human? A ghost in the mind? A creature addicted to self-image? Is this truly human? If this is human, maybe there is nothing great about being human. We are human beings only on one level. On other levels we are much, much more. You are a sentient being who is identified with a human self-image, letting your identity shrink into something small and ugly.

Self-image is Hell

We could say that the world as we know it is Hell, but this world can be experienced on multiple levels. Suffering is part of this world of separation, but suffering is not yet Hell. Hell is to live in a condition of self-torture. Hell is to lose our power and become ghosts of self-image in the mind. Hell is also the absence of Me – but the presence of Me does not guarantee that we get out of Hell, because the mind has so many sophisticated ways to torture us. Self-image is your past that keeps haunting you, because you keep remembering yourself as self-image. It does not matter what the image is, because even the most positive self-image is Hell. In Buddhism they have the concept of hungry ghosts, who have a big belly but a narrow throat and can never be satiated. But what is it that they want to eat? It is not food, but self-affirmation, self-acceptance, and an image of being loved. Each time you create an emotionally-based self-image, you become a hungry ghost and you go to a Hell of your own making.

Finding Dignity to Transcend Self-image

Going beyond self-image is not a matter of mere discipline, but of finding our deeper dignity. The way humans experience self-respect is by holding onto their feeble positive self-image. But there is no dignity in it, only shame. If you find self-worth by holding onto a positive self-image, you have already lost dignity; you become a creature of Hell – a demon, if you will. Yes, to live through self-image is nothing but being a demon, a creature of shadows that has betrayed its own self.

It is crucial to understand this in a practical context. You must observe yourself carefully. This has to be done in particular in your human connections, whether outside of yourself or in your own mind. Can you see how desperately you are trying to protect your self-image? You can even lie to yourself or to others in order to make yourself feel good about yourself. And what exactly do you have to lose? By momentarily recreating a positive self-image, one gains a fleeting sense of self-worth – a feeling doubted on many levels – but the ultimate result is exactly the opposite: an utter lack of self-worth and a complete surrender of your dignity. You have become again the creature of Hell.

Finally, the only true remedy against living as a ghost of self-image is to clearly see its absurdity and ridiculousness. Only then you can begin to respect yourself and to love yourself as your soul.

Self-image as the Original Sin

When we have fallen from the heaven of our pure nature, we have become enslaved by self-image as a poor substitute for our true self. That pride of ego through which we continue in false affirmation is the deepest root of our ignorance and suffering.

True Humility is beyond Negative and Positive Self-image

When you feel ‘humble,’ are you truly beyond self-image, or have you just created a clever new one? Commonly, humility is a type of positive self-image for weak people. It is especially common among so-called religious people in their hope to please their false gods and find salvation. Whether you feel great about yourself and develop pride, or feel terrible about yourself and are self-critical, it makes no difference: you are still trapped in the same pettiness. Humility is another face of arrogance. What is arrogance really? It is holding onto self-image. People are not living all of the time in self-image, but most of the time. It is triggered especially by human interactions. Do you have a sense of how it feels to not have an image of yourself? The tendency to reconstruct self-image is so deeply unconscious that, most of the time, you do not know that you are doing it. In those rare moments in human interactions when you fail to recreate self-image, you feel like you are nothing. Because you are nothing – and always have been – self-image is merely a way to make yourself into ‘something.’ It is a lie. In fact, when you dwell in self-image, you are nothing multiplied by trillions. But people cannot see it. This is the fundamental dishonesty, that original sin, the original lie that corrupted us. It is time to end it. It is time to free humanity from the tyranny of self-image.

Purity as the Absence of Self-image

To renounce the impulse to create a self-image, you must be conscious. But the roots of self-image are very much emotional, and emotions are mostly unconscious. You think because you face insecurity or fear, this justifies your compulsion to create self-image? It does not. Nothing does. As we are a race of slaves, we have agreed to compromise on many levels to survive, even though we don’t even know why we are living. Is self-image supporting our survival or killing us? It is not the outer world that is killing us – we are killing ourselves from within. Opening the shackles of self-image requires deep surrender to our true self, honoring our true self by which we regain our long lost dignity. And it requires the awakening of deep unconditional love for our own being and the radical refusal to continue our existence in bondage.

Divinity of Ego and Self-image

We have recently introduced the new idea of awakening of ego. It is ego that creates self-image, and it is the ignorant ego that lives in total identification with self-image. Knowing ego as the very intelligence of the mind and the creator of self-image, you can get in touch with the root of self-image, and then to cut it off from this root. Ego is the ‘pure I’ of the soul, which then becomes contaminated through the improper use of the mind and falls into disgrace by its identification with self-image. This is why renunciation of self-image is the major element in cultivating the purity of ego and its divine nature.

Practical Guidance

What would be the practical guidance for working towards freedom from the egoic self-image? First of all, one has to become fully mindful in order to identify self-image as it arises at the moment of its conception. Because as mentioned, people are not even remotely aware of what they are doing to themselves in the mind. When the self-image arises, it needs to be dropped in that instant. Usually, self-image not only arises, but it is being reasserted, recreated, reinforced and amplified in the mind. This mechanism has to be uprooted, cut off and dissolved. But to do so, one has to learn how to live and function without the need for self-image. Self-image recreates your false self as the personality, and living in personally is all that people know. Even if you have access to pure consciousness, you keep living in personality because humans do not know any other way. You need to learn how to live in emptiness and to exist as the soul. Furthermore, you need to become aware of the emotional triggers that pull you into self-image. Do not allow your emotions to sabotage your mind. Make the mind open and free so it can do what it is supposed to – think clearly. As we are addicted to self-image, we need to decondition ourselves from this obsession. Being fully aware with the intention to let go of self-image, we grow in both intention and awareness, coming more and more to the place of true freedom and purity. Since self-image is created by thoughts, by maintaining a thought-free space of consciousness, we prevent the creation of self-image at its roots. And when subtle thoughts arise to form a self-image, you must let go of it in that very instant. This is the work and this is the purpose, to finally become real and true to our pure existence as Me.