The Preciousness of Me

There is a false and deeply rooted notion running through the history of human spiritual traditions that the enlightened state is purely impersonal – ‘no one’ experiences reality, for that state implies the dissolution of the personal self, which is commonly called ego. From the viewpoint of this teaching that denial or negation of the individual essence of human consciousness – that which we call ‘me’ – is not only false, it is spiritually harmful, as it jeopardizes our chance to awaken to our very soul.

Me is who we are; without me, there is simply nothing. It is the essence of human individual consciousness, and it is from the outset of the path to its culmination and completion, the very subject to spiritual evolution. When it exists in the state of ignorance, me is synonymous with ego-consciousness – it is indeed the very essence of the false self. However, it is the destiny and ultimate purpose of that me to realize its divine nature through the journey of awakening.

Q1: What is pure subjectivity?

Put simply, the subject is the experiencer of any object. We can all sense our subjective existence to an extent, as the basic feeling of ‘me-ness’, of ‘I’. However, ordinarily we cannot separate our sense of me from the object of our perception, be it sensory impressions, thoughts, or emotions. In such a condition, we know that we exist only by inferring ourselves as the experiencer of an object; we are as if ‘assuming’ our sense of self, rather than it being something entirely clear, real, and tangible. We could call this sense of self ‘impure subjectivity’.

Pure subjectivity, on the other hand, is our solid, awakened subjectivity, which is experienced autonomously from and prior to any object, whether it be material, mental or emotional. Pure subjectivity is not an eternal essence that we all carry by divine right, one that merely needs to be recognized and acknowledged. Rather, it has to actually be created through the process of awakening. Awakening pure subjectivity is the foundation and essence of our inner work.

What does the term ‘me’ refer to?

It refers to you, to your simple sense of self. Even to ask this question, you needed to have a sense of who you are, a sense of me, right? Ordinarily, our sense of me unconscious, meaning it is not aware of itself in a conscious and clear way. It is like we have a sense of me, but we do not own it. This is why the spiritual work is necessary: to remember, awaken, establish, and own our me. That simple sense of me is destined to become substantial, expansive, radiant, and deep, as it’s divine essence is recognized, embodied and surrendered to the transcendent I am.

“Can you love yourself so much that it is almost too much, as if you were not able to contain that love, so that you just need to allow it flow freely through the veins of the body of your soul? Never allow yourself to get used to being yourself because that is the beginning of decay, of spiritual decay. You are a miracle that is constantly arising from the timeless now; how can you get used to it? Your intelligence, the power of recognition, has to be constantly in a state of awe, astonishment.”

You speak about the preciousness of me with such emphasis. What is so precious about it, considering we all have it from birth?

Our sense of me is precious because it is divine. What else is divine in your life? It is true that we have a sense of me from birth, but there is a huge difference, and a long journey, between the rudimentary sense of me that all people and animals are naturally endowed with, and expanding into the full glory of that me, coming to love, own, and embody it.

Unless you begin to really value and appreciate your sense of me, there is no meaning to walking the inner path. Do not pursue an abstract, unknowable goal outside of yourself, whether it be unity with god, nirvana, higher consciousness, or what have you. All you need to do is recognize, awaken and embody your very me.

You have spoken of the path as a journey into intimacy with oneself. How can I be intimate with myself? Isn’t that a contradiction in terms?

No. The contradiction in terms is actually not to feel intimacy with oneself – that is what is confusing and mysterious. What is the main spiritual blind spot for human beings? They are not meaningfully in touch with their own essential, fundamental sense of me. It is very tragic. People have become conditioned to exist entirely within a social context, while remaining completely disconnected from their own sense of self. They may be able to feel emotionally intimate with others, or have acquired certain types of psychological and emotional sensitivity, but in disconnection from other people they are entirely hollow and lonely. In this way, people have become existentially scorched, like a desert without rain. 

The thing is that you cannot be intimate with yourself if you lack a clear identity beyond your personality, because there is just nobody inside to become intimate with. To feel intimate with yourself, to love your own me, you need to first of all solidify your sense of self. Once you have awakened your me, the quality of intimacy that you feel with yourself is a function of your spiritual intelligence. In our terminology, it is the activity of what we call ‘pure attention’, an inner movement of recognition that lovingly illuminates your subjectivity with a true depth of feeling. 

What is the experience of an awakened me like, versus my current sense of self?

Your ‘current’ unawakened sense of me is the sense of self of the person, or ‘ego’. While very important, that sense of self is very unconscious and lost in the mind. You cannot hold onto it because it is so fragmented and weak; you cannot simply be yourself without constant disturbances, movement and fluctuation. The experience of an awakened me, on the other hand, is clear, defined, stable, expanded, blissful, and comfortable. You experience a solid and tangible identity (what we call bare attention) that sustains itself naturally, irrespective of how much you are involved in your mind or external affairs.  

The experience of your awakened me continues to expand and transform as you progress along the path. When you awaken being, the quality of perfect, deep rest is added to your me. When you awaken your heart, the quality of divine love and prayerfulness becomes part of your me…and so forth. Still, that simple essence of being who you are, naturally and in a constant,  unchanging way, is the heart of the path from its very beginning.